Tuesday, March 23, 2010

{selfish sadness}

my heart is heavy

my soul is happy
it's quite the mixture
of earthly feelings
meshing with heavenly reality

{Karys and Oma}

Oma Boschmann has been a joy for me to get to know
she's such a ray of sunshine and has an incredible way of making you feel
like you are so loved and so special

in January we got together once again
to celebrate Oma's 95th birthday
she was beaming with joy and love -
so happy to see her entire family under one roof
Karys and Avery had a chance
to sit and smile
to thank Oma for having a birthday party
and to remember her like the smiley and happy person she is

Jim and I just made a trip over to the city to say our 'goodbyes' to an incredible women -
a true matriarch of an incredible family.
a family of which i have been blessed to become a part of.

my sadness is selfish
my heart is heavy
because i want her to stay here longer
i want my girls to get to know her like i know her
or even better than i know her
i want to know that she's there
ready to sit and chat with

but my soul is happy
because she is ready to go home
she has lived a long, full life
and she said she has heard Jesus calling her

i'm filled with joy at the thought
that when she gets to heaven
she'll be able-bodied,
free from pain and worry
and living the life she's lived so long for!

the tears fall at the thought of what we'll be missing
of her down here
and at the thought of what we're missing
with her up there!

so, now, we sit and wait
to get that call
that lets us know she's 'home'
safe and sound...


Barley Girl said...

saing goodbye is such a hard thing to do, but it is such a beautiful moment too. so many of us miss the chance to say goodbye. take the time you need ... she deserves it and so do you. thinking of you...

kelly ens said...

i understand the selfishness - it's never easy saying goodbye. i'm glad you were able to see her at her 95th and now this week, to say goodbye.
praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Thank you SO much Christina for writing that, I needed that. You brought me to tears, but happy tears to know that she will be with Jesus and Opa real soon, just like she has wanted for so long. I too feel the same way, she will so dearly be missed and I remember that day - her birthday - so well, she sat there with the biggest smile to be able to see so many kids/grandkids/great- grandkids. Thank again for that.