i ponder...and i share...and sometimes it comes out right...
one of my lasts posts was not intended to be anything more than a reflection...recalling our life in the past 2 years and the shadows that have come over us...but we wouldn't be who we are now if it weren't for those shadows...
life is good...God is good...so good...even in the dark times...
i would never choose unemployment for as long as we faced it, but i can also not even put into words the amount of growth that happened...the priceless memories that were made...the amount of time we ALL got to have TOGETHER...and i wouldn't trade it, and a pay cheque couldn't have given that to us...
seasons come and go...and through it all, we learn
recently the days are going by, mixing into one long season of "no"..."stop"..."Say please"...
blinded by the constant burden, i sometimes lose sight of the blessing...the blessingS...
and to even consider my job...my calling... a "burden"? how could I? just being honest...it creeps up on me, that attitude of selfishness that longs to stop all service and only please SELF.
and then i remember, being four and tending to the needs of my preemie sister who was finally allowed out of the hospial...hearing her cry, getting her bottle, laying out the blanket, and feeding her...placing her on the sofa, hopping down and carrying her to the floor to lay down with her and burp her...
THIS is ALL I have EVER wanted! Someone to call me "Muma"!
now 3 call me "Mummy"!
and some days are good...and our homeschooling lesson goes off without a hitch and the boy sleeps as long as he "should" and the bickering is kept at bay...and i am thankful
but then there are those days...when the bickering starts, i swear, in their sleep...and the boy's naps are too short and so is my fuse...and i yell...and i speak rudely...and i justify it with blame...
and then the day goes on and we flounder...and we flail...and we try to rise above...only to be pushed down again by a wave of anger, or accident, or hurt feelings...
so many times the words come out and i wish immediately that i could take them back...so many times the action is done and i wish, in that very instant, that i had the grace enough to direct with gentleness...
so many times its the same child...fighting the same behaviour...hearing the same correction...pressing the same buttons...blowing my last fuse...
is she to blame...or am i
i've only been a parent for as long as she's been a child
we are both still quite inexperienced at this whole gig and yet i feel, more often than not, that i should have it all together...i should have all the answers and all the grace to handle all the situations in the manner i know "others" handle it
but i don't
when all is said and done, dinner is cleaned up and all three are snuggled into their own beds...He and I sit back and sigh..."we made it"...through another day...slightly scathed...but no more worse for wear...
and then when i least expect it...during that time in the evening when i am trying to turn my mind off and just veg...a Mum on the show I am watching speaks MY fear...voices MY concerns...and I CRUMBLE...
"I look back with guilt over so many things that I have done, so many ways that I've failed her, and not asked for forgiveness"
seasons come and go...and through it all, we learn
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
cause for gulit...or lesson learned
Posted by Christina B 0 comments
Labels: just life, parenting, reflection
Sunday, August 5, 2012
shadows
an object, or attitude, or unexpected change in plans, or loss of work...many things can cause a shadow.Wikipedia says a shadow is: an area where direct light from a light source cannot reach due to obstruction by an object.
we didn't see it coming, living life like the Joneses, day after day...wondering if this is really what life at it's fullest is all about.
and then it happened. out of the blue, without even one day notice, without even an inkling from Him, life as we knew it was no longer.
me standing by the stove, kids inevitably at my feet or at each other, the soft whir of the garage door opens, his return lightens all loads, immediately...until i see that look, "He doesn't need me any more."
silence, soul-stilling silence.
my mind is set into overdrive as i stand stirring and stewing...how can he not be needed...how are we going to fix this...how can this be happening...why!!??
the days went on and so did our wondering and why-ing, our stewing and figuring...how did this fit in to our grand plans? why is this happening if we feel like our life is made for so much more?
the weeks went on and so did our questions and pleas, figuring that should we "know" the "reasons" as to why it would make the waiting easier...
"How long oh Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" Psalm 13:1our hope dwindled, our joy extinguished, our faith stretched to points beyond...
the days and weeks turned into months and months and we began to bow low our heads, hang up our need to understand, put away our methods of figuring, and sought first His kingdom...
we don't know the reasons, we don't know the end result, but we are convinced we know He who knows.
and like bulbs weathered throughout the winter, doing most of their development in the shadow of earth, we emerge...
out of the dark, out from under the shadow, and with time we grow and BLOOM.
it's those dark days. the days that you never foresee, the days that - with hindsight - seem to all blend in to one dark shadow, those days when hope dwindles and faith experiences growing pains, that you look back on and realize:
Who would even know the greater graces of comfort and perseverance, mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage, if no shadows fell over a life? ~One Thousand Gifts
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: reflection
Friday, July 27, 2012
ponderings of soap suds and frying pans
a long day...hours of summer heat pounding down...soaking it up for these days will pass
kids playing...bickering...helping...bickering...
this season will all too soon come to an end...summer, childhood...
a long day...sister helps all night long...in hopes to raise funds for fun...in hopes, mine, to teach the importance of money, the blessing of provision...maybe she's being taught, but i am learning
learning to be thankful for provision
learning to gather the small things and enjoy
learning to take the moments, the ones that too often pass by unnoticed...and not rush...but to savour
a long day...setting out crafts, creations of my hands..in the summer heat
hours pass...kids playing...bickering...helping...bickering...
the sun sets...the creations of my hands are placed back in their safe places...to sit ready for next week
all is packed away...craft and crafted...all to their sweet slumber...
and there it sits...after a long hot day...cast iron with caked on crust of noon...waiting...
on goes the tap...hot...to lift the hold...
a lot like life...when pressure comes...when the heat of life is turned up...what do we do?...hold fast...to that which has claimed our peace and joy for the fear of the unknown...or let go and look to He Whose plans for us are perfect...?
the water heats up...the noon-time provisions lift...the iron cleaned in hope for tomorrow's blessing
all is quiet after a long day...he sits down and looks at me...the heat and day's laboured duties weighing in his eyes...but all is still...the evening has come...and so hope...for mercies renewed with tomorrow's rising of the sun...the Son's new mercies...
when did it stop being "enough"?
daily duties of buttering toast...wiping faces...moments in quiet, praying for their future selves...wringing out drops of patience...sweeping up crumbs of grace...
why the unsettled feeling of inadequacy...? who said that witnessing and steering the unbridled hope of the child budding, growing up under our rearing, roof, wings' shadow needs to be supplemented...or enhanced by something "other than"...something "outside"...something "more"
what is "more" than the weight, blessing, responsibility of raising tomorrow's women and men...
these questions roll around...swirling...whispering...waiting...
when did THIS stop being enough...soap suds...morning crumbs and evening spills...cupping an innocent face and pouring out grace...
i fight to keep it...i fight to find its whole significance...its entire weight...the reality of raising up to send out...
and i falter...the still, small voice often gets beaten down by the outside shouts... "only"..."just"..."nothing but"...
and then, in a fleeting moment...almost missed by the pace of the day...i realize...and stop...and remember the treasure of a childhood...parent always present...
this IS enough...this is MORE than enough...not "just"...not "only"...
but wholly...and matchless...and unparalleled...and holy...and hard...but worth it...
so i sit...and wonder...and realize...no matter the chaos that surrounds...no matter the peers who find this to be not enough...no matter those who try and push the idea that something "other than" holds more meaning or would make me more than "just"...for me, this IS enough... unparallelled...complete...
and daily...life happens...and i need reminding...but slowly...it's seeping, down deep
"If you have died with Christ to material ways of looking at things...why do you live as if you still belong to the world?...Such practices have indeed the outward appearance that popularly passes for wisdom...but they are of no value" ~ Col. 2:20,23
do i want the simple appearance of wisdom...but for my life to lack value?
stand up...and take a few steps...to shift the focus from filling up a daily life...to daily living life FULL.
Posted by Christina B 4 comments
Labels: reflection
Thursday, March 8, 2012
never...
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: levi, reflection
Thursday, May 5, 2011
on life
i am here
i have been wanting to blog
nothing profound
life is happening
mother's day is around the corner
six years ago
the flutters of life began in me
and
on mothers day
we took "the test"
on mothers day
six years ago
i found out
i would soon join the ranks
of blessed women
who were called
to raise
the next generation
and today
six years later
as number three explores
kicking and squirming
i sit in silence
reflecting on His faithfulness
this IS my calling
He DOES want me
we HOPED to expand
and
after sixteen months
many tears
and much hope
we ARE expanding
my family...figuratively
me...literally!
my brain can still not comprehend
but the scans prove true
the miraculous gift
of growth
inside me
of strength and health
Thank you Jesus!
tiny flexing hands
perfect pouty lips
delicate feet
with 10 tiny toes
oh...the view
six years ago
on mother's day
the joy began inside
the naive joy of "motherhood"
unaware of what's to come
but expecting the best
and now
six years later
the joy continues
no longer naive
very much aware of the rollercoaster
that is "motherhood"
but i AM called
this IS His plan for me
and number three
is proof
of His faithfulness
of His love for His children
and added blessing
what deep joy
what persistent hope
what a blessing
motherhood is my calling
i am not perfect at it
many days i am certain
my children deserve better
but we press on
seeking His face
leaning on His grace
we unite as a family
to become better in spite of our failure
six years ago the flicker of joy ignited
and now...as this little one grows
bigger and stronger daily
so does my joy
in the blessing of three lives
that have been given to me
who are my calling
that make me "mummy"
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: family, parenting, pregnancy, reflection, rejoicing
Thursday, March 24, 2011
*sigh*...a reminder to SAVOUR these moments!
every once in a while it's so refreshing to get a reminder you didn't know you needed!
we strive to live a simply life...not get "caught up" in it all and keep our daily routine family-focused.
but even while homeschooling does make this much easier, there are still times when i feel like i'm rushing the girls (and myself) through this chapter of our lives to get "there"...wherever "there" is!
so, when i stumbled upon this post the other day - from over here - i took it as a little whisper from God telling me to remember...to savour...to enjoy...to hold tight to our embrace of simplicity.
it's a post geared toward Mum's of daughters, but i think it's applicable to anyone - even people without children...embrace this chapter you are in right now, and don't wish it away - you are growing
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REFLECTIONS FROM AN EMPTY NEST
Spring-cleaning is just around the corner! And part of my springtime cleaning routine is to clean out cabinets. Feathering my nest is so easy and enjoyable! But when it comes to organizing my domain, that is when it gets a bit more difficult. I hate to clean out cabinets and believe this is because I am hopelessly sentimental. Clean and tidy cupboards I adore, but it is oh-so-painful to part with all the “memories”. Cleaning out the bathroom cabinet used to be my daughter’s chore…until she left home. I think the reality of her permanent departure from my nest and launch into the world hit me on the day I decided it was time to clean the bathroom cabinet. It was then I saw her numerous hair ribbons in a jumbled heap that I realized that she gone, never again to live in my home as a permanent resident.
As I untangled and sorted the pile I found the blue bow, the white fluffy one, the Kelly-green polka dot bow hmmm, I mused, why didn’t she take them with her ? Random snapshots, snippets of memories flashed before my mind’s eye of her scurrying around the house getting ready for church, AWANA, or one of her numerous babysitting jobs, her long brown braid hanging down her back anchored with one of her bows. That was when she was fourteen and she was now eighteen and wore a more mature and sophisticated bob.
Where did the time go?
The little girl who wore ribbons, bows, and braids was only transient, like a butterfly that stays but a summer, like the little bird that rests on your sill before migrating south for the duration of winter.
Today, she is in a nest of her own with two little ones.
Mothers, take it from this empty nester, make the most of the time you have with your daughters! In the time you spend training her to be a homemaker, you can give her skills and share moments that create life long memories. The moments you spend teaching your daughter are the “forever moments”. These are the instances that will influence her and give her the skills she will use someday in her own home. Don’t let this precious time of her life fly away without experiencing it with her. I look back on this time and wish I would have strived a little less and enjoyed a lot more. Make it a point to this week to savor this season when your nest is full!
Shelley
**************************
isn't it so true!?!
i need to remind myself of this more...
hope you have a good day!
Posted by Christina B 0 comments
Labels: parenting, reflection
Friday, February 11, 2011
project31 - day 5
well, this one's easy-peasy! That would HAVE to be my incredible hubby!
I met the guy at a point in my life where even I didn't know who I was...
he stuck around,
laughed at my jokes
and didn't seem to be bothered by my severe lack of self-confidence
(I would have said, at the time, it was because "he's a guy" and wouldn't even have that on his radar...but nuthin' gets past this guy!!)
he saw my pain
but didn't push advice
he simply befriended a girl who needed someone...like him
neither of us knew it at the time!
2 years went by and we were still friends
neither thinking anything about the other
and then...
with all the support
with all the late night
heart-to-heart chats,
we both started to realize
there may be something more here.
he made a meat-eater out of a reluctant vegetarian
he patiently sat at my side as I shared my pain
he laughed with me...and at me
he didn't care one.bit. what other people thought...and still doesn't
he offered help and meant it
he helped me believe in my potential
he made dates...and kept them
he encouraged me through my last years of my degree and listened to my rants even though he had no clue what I was going on about!
he faced my family with not an ounce of intimidation...not an easy feat!
he shared God's truths with me and helped me make them my own
he talked about...and still talks about...my Dad
he dreams...big
he believed in me...and still is my biggest fan
he loved me when i couldn't even stand myself
he loves to make me laugh
he is an IN.CREDIBLE Dado
my heart is alive because of this man...and I am blessed INDEED!
...i love you Babe.
Posted by Christina B 2 comments
Labels: project31, reflection
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
a little gem of truth
So...I was going my daily dose of blogs when I came across this gem from over here...and, the awesome-er part about it is if you go over to her site, you can click on a link that will give you a printable version!!...i {heart} printable versions of ANYTHING!!!
So, although her site is quite obviously geared toward homeschoolers, there is still SO MUCH TRUTH in this little gem here....please take the time to ponder these truths and soak 'em up!
Super Mom | Abiding Mom |
| Does | Is (Psalm 46:10) |
| Tries to impress others | Pleases the Lord (Eph. 5:10, Proverbs 29:25) |
| Is controlled by an agenda (curriculum, schedule, etc) | Is controlled by the Holy Spirit: (Gal. 5:22-26) (Uses curriculum & schedules as tools for orderliness so she's more free to follow the spirit) |
| Her self worth is found in her accomplishments (clean house, perfect kids, the perfect bulletin boards, etc.) | Her self worth is found in an accurate view of who she is in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:10) |
| Her peace is found in the “perfect” environment | Her peace is found in Jesus in the midst of any storm (Is 26:3) |
| She is discouraged by failure | Failure reminds her that God's strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9-10) |
| She expects perfection from herself and others | She practices grace with herself and others (Eph 4:32) |
| She teaches her kids to be good | She teaches her kids to be Godly (Proverbs 22:6) |
| She is frustrated with her lack of spiritual fruit | She abides in Christ and bears much fruit (John 15:5) |
| She does things with her children | She builds a relationship with her children (Deut 6:6-7) |
| Her perspective is based on what is seen | Her perspective is based on what is unseen (Col 3:2) |
| She chooses quantity of activities | She chooses the most excellent Way (I Cor 13) |
| Her kids may recall how busy she always is. | Her children rise and call her blessed. (Prov. 31:28) |
may you come to know your true value and fully realize the importance in the role to which you've been called!
...be blessed!
Posted by Christina B 2 comments
Labels: homeschooling, reflection
Monday, February 7, 2011
project31 - day 1
I find this ironic that it is the first post to be written on, given that this exact "idea" of beauty is something that I have struggled to define for most of my life.
Being someone who has lacked confidence in myself since a very young age, I feel as though I had fallen deep into the pit of society's ideals of what "beauty" is by way a specific size, colour, face, and wardrobe.
All of that was, of course, all the opposite of what I learned growing up in the church and I never had parents who judged me by appearance. I also had very, VERY accepting friends. SO, this skewed idea of what "beauty" is most certainly wasn't something I was raised to believe.
If you listen to your Mum, "beauty is only skin deep," but as a 16 year old...skin deep is all that matters.
The chapter of Proverbs that this entire challenge is based on says this in verse 30:
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
So, even that verse would suggest that beauty is something to behold, or gaze upon.
But to me...something that I have come to learn in my 30 years on this earth - although it has taken a long time, and I am only really learning this in the last 10 years or so - is that beauty, for me, is more of a character trait rather than a specific "look."
Does that even make sense?? I mean, someone can "look beautiful," but then they open their mouth and speak rudely...not so "beautiful" anymore are they?!
So...beauty to me is someone who is genuine, funny, kind, displays integrity...someone who holds tight to their convictions no matter the "weather" of what's popular at the moment...someone who will speak the truth in love...
all things I try to be...and hope one day to possess.
or beauty is to gaze upon the face of an innocent child, all their trust and genuine love, confidence in their abilities because of their confidence in your love for them, and be humbled by your role in their life as "Mummy"...the one to whom they will look to for unconditional acceptance and even, one day, look to and ask "Mummy, am I beautiful?"...and my heart will break at their beauty and sincere concern over that arbitrary word...but I know the answer!
"A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"...oh how I pray that becomes my character along this journey called life.
...be blessed!
Posted by Christina B 3 comments
Labels: project31, reflection
Monday, January 24, 2011
humbling truth
thought i'd share this quote with you...
i was astounded as it brought my actions and their effects under a ultra-bright light to a place i could no longer hide them...
and maybe, "hopefully", try and blame the downward turn of any given day on something/one else, lack of sleep, children unwilling to listen...
sure, some of those things definitely play a roll in how situations are played out, BUT!!
can i allow them to control my actions?? no!
can i put the blame of my lost temper off onto someone else? no!
my attitude is MINE and no one but ME is to blame/praise for how i react/ don't react to a situation!!
so here's the slice of humble pie i enjoyed for breakfast this morning...enjoy!! (and yes, i ate it nicely and swallowed every last bite!)
I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.
In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated,
and a person is humanized or de-humanized.
If we treat people as they are, we make them worse.
If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."
...to the start of a new week! Be blessed!
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: just life, reflection
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Type-B Muma...
i happened upon this refreshing post...and it brought comfort to my soul! I now know that I am not a failing type-A person, but rather very much a type-B person!! And this brings much freedom to my convictions of "failure" on all levels of life where I felt as though I could never measure up to those people who THRIVE of schedules and timetables!
I know that most of you who read this aren't homeschoolers, but I had to share it somewhere:)
enjoy...
This one is for all you Type-B homeschooling mamas out there – be encouraged – you CAN homeschool well! Article brought to you by the sewing, cheesecake eating, ninja of jewelry and accessory hipness, Ashlee Baker.
My name is Ashlee and I am a work at home, homeschooling mama to 6 kiddos, ages 12, 10, 9, 7, 3, and 1, with another arriving in early July.I run an online baby store as well as my home. And I am total type-b. Let me give you a glimpse at our school day and then I will explain. My husband heads off for work at about 8am and I try to be up by the time he leaves, but that doesn’t always happen. I make sure all my kids are up by 9 and we sit down for breakfast. It’s usually 10 or so by the time we clean up and do morning chores, and we dive in to our work. Everyone does their math and then we do some form of English. It could be a workbook, a creative story written after I give them a scenario, a synopsis of our weekend, their opinion of an upcoming holiday or event or anything else I come up with. The point is always to have them use proper English, punctuation, their best handwriting and make them think. After that we usually eat lunch and I lay the babies down. Our afternoon usually is spent watching a documentary, painting or doing a craft, listening to an audio book or just creative play.
To some people this does not look like a sufficient school day, and that’s okay. I was that person once. We started homeschooling six years ago when my oldest was entering first grade. I knew what a typical school day looked like so that is what I tried to duplicate; we did not have much fun. I am extremely laid back, but the only thing I knew about homeschooling was strict schedules, preplanned curriculum, and an 8-3 schedule. That was not working for me. I would spend hours writing up the perfect schedule, only to fail miserably the next few days, and beat myself up about the failure. Over the next few years I settled into a groove of teaching what is necessary, and teaching a lot of extras in things that were fun. This did work for me.
I am fortunate enough to have a type-a husband who keeps me in check. I have a tendency to be extremely type-b which can be tough when you are teaching four kids and raising six. He would love nothing more than for me to write out a schedule and stick to it. But he also sees that I work better with routines than schedules, so he helps me stay accountable to that. He also appreciates the crazy things we do in the name of education. Last week we watched several episodes of Mythbusters on Netflix all in the name of learning. A few weeks before that we watched the documentary, Babies, and discussed in detail, cultural nudity among other things. And that’s okay.
One of the things I try to do as a type-b mom is accept my weaknesses and ask God to make then strengths. I am a horrible procrastinator, so I try to make sure I am early everywhere I go and explain to my kids why its important. When we are late somewhere we are being disrespectful to the person waiting on us because we are not respecting their time. This helps me to be accountable to my kids. Another weakness is poor time management. I try to make this a strength by sticking to my routine in an acceptable time. This keeps the pressure of a schedule at bay, but makes sure I am getting the most done in the time allotted. I am teaching my kids through this as well by making sure they do their chores and school work in an acceptable amount of time, with diligence.
I am very thankful I am type-b because I think it allows me to be flexible and easy going. If something happens in the middle of our school day that causes us to get off track, no biggie, we will catch up tomorrow. If a kid becomes sick in the middle of the day, we just take that opportunity to exercise our compassion by taking care of whoever is sick through serving them, taking over their chores joyfully, praying over them and doing what we can to cheer them up.
My kids may never memorize all the Presidents, but they will know what they do and they will know to respect them at all times, even if they don’t agree with their viewpoints. They may never memorize pi, but they will know how to spot the best deal at the store, calculate percentages, and make change quickly and accurately. They may never recite Robert Frost’s poems from memory, but they will be able to quote scripture with the quickness, for any situation they come across in life. They may never draw out the countries in Africa in 60 seconds, but they sure will pretend they are missionaries in the African jungle bringing the Word of God to an unknown tribe. Then again, they may do all those amazing things if they want.
I heard a story last year that solidified this thinking in my heart. It was the story of Francis Collins, scientist who helped map human DNA and who also happened to be an evangelical Christian. He was interviewed about his success and was asked about his homeschooling experience. His father was an English PhD and professor and his mom was a playwright (and type-b, I bet). He said they were very into folk music and putting on elaborate medieval productions. But this environment was a place to thrive. They would explore a topic, like the origins of words, for a week or two, doing nothing else, then move on to another subject, like mathematics. As a result, Dr. Collins said, he grew up with an unquenchable curiosity and love of learning. You see, God’s plan for him was to help map human DNA. All his parents had to do was create in him a passion for learning and God took care of the rest.
I will never teach my children all there is to know, but I will teach them all they need to know. My job is to create a passion for learning and a passion for Christ and He will take care of the rest.
Lastly, I must accept that I will never be type-a. I will never run well off schedules and strict curriculum. But that is okay, God created me just the way He wanted. He will give me all the strength and ability I need to do what He has called me to. Also, I am not inferior to my type-a friends, just different and their detailed schedules are not better, just different. There is room for all of us in the realm of homeschoolers, and our goal is basically the same, to provide our children with the best we have to offer.
Ashlee is a disciple, wife, mom of many, and artist. She stumbles through Gods calling, trying to do her best to honor Him. She make lots of mistakes but never gives up the pursuit of her Savior. He guides her as a wife, strengthens her as a mom to almost 7, and inspires her as an artist. Head on over to her blog (or check out her shop) and say “hi!”
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ahhh...so refreshed!
~be blessed
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: homeschooling, reflection
Monday, January 3, 2011
The Dawning of 2011...
So many words...swirling in my brain...
so many thoughts...trying to wrangle into sentences...
another year is upon us...and i have again sought a "word" to carry into this new chapter...
looking back on last year's word...i find it ironically similar to what life looks like for us at this moment...a year later...
the only difference is our attitude!
"delight yourself in the Lord" ~psalm 37:4
so, yes...we are going around the same mountain, but this time, we are learning!
we have learned to be happy in our "right now"...
not wallowing in what we had...
or longing for what's to come...
but to be content because we are right.where.we.are! (Phil 4:11)
so...this year my phrase is "expectant joy"
i will expect the best...of all people, in all circumstances!
Jesus came that we may have life...but not just a "hum-drum," "every day the same," "whoa-is-me" sort of life...but life in ABUNDANCE!!
No matter what is happening, no matter what situation I find myself in, or what chore I find myself doing, or what duty I have to fulfill, I can choose to do it with JOY!
I will pray bolder prayers because I believe what it says in Eph. 3:20...
He is able to do far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]
...does that makes sense to you?? HE is able to do MORE than we could even begin to FATHOM!! i would imagine that that's a LOT!
and just in case you may think that you aren't warranted any asking, dreaming or imagining...James 4 says that we have not because we ask not...so, I WILL ask...BOLDLY!
I will enjoy where I am at while I get to where I'm going!
I will dream big dreams and even if I only get part of it, that's better than dreaming small and getting it all!
it is promised in Isaiah that God will trade me JOY for mourning...He will give me BEAUTY for
ashes!
seems like He's getting a bad deal, but His divine exchange...it doesn't have to make sense, i simply have to accept it!!
I will expectantly hope for the BEST and live with JOY!
no, it won't be easy, and yes, there will be many times throughout this year where I fail and choose complaining and moaning over EXPECTANT JOY...but this will continue to be my hope and desire...this will be what I seek each morning, and what I pray He gives me the strength to live with!
And you...?
What word/phrase will you take with you this year??
Whatever it is, I hope you choose it expecting the best!
on this, the dawning of a new year, i am filled with EXPECTANT JOY for what's to come!
~blessings to you...
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: reflection
Friday, December 31, 2010
The Setting of 2010...
Here are some pictures I captured of the last sunset for 2010!
What a gorgeous day we were blessed with to close off a year that has showed us SO much!!
2010 was a year filled with growth...
finishing off a job that took me 100% out of my comfort zone, but taught me I had nothing to be afraid of...
surviving a 6 month drought with Jim's work that found us seeking the Face of the Only One who knows our future...
enjoying the work that comes along with a "fixer-upper" home such as ours...
seeing the progress in a job well-done!!
getting to spend our first summer in our new home!
taking the huge step out of a paid job to stay home with the girls...
and with that step, picking up the extra job of "homeschooling"
witnessing, first-hand, the joys of our steps of faith...we've never once regretted our decision to homeschool! what a freeing, bonding, growing, relaxing, fulfilling, encouraging job i have...not that it doesn't have it's challenges...there ARE certainly moments through days where I wish (and so do the girls) that we had some space, but that only teaches us more about how we work together as a family and how we deal with trying circumstances!
finally getting our heads above water with Jim getting his job back, only for us to find ourselves back in the same boat now for over 2 months! But we know God is faithful...and He has a pleasing plan for our future!! We now see this as a period of time in which we are to grow closer to Him and to each other, and we look forward to the day when His plans for us will be shown!
All in all an incredible year! One that I entered into having chosen to SAVOUR...and one that has certainly taught me to do so!!
Now...stay tuned for my words for 2011!!
Have a blessed and happy New Year celebration!!
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: family, homeschooling, just life, reflection
Monday, December 6, 2010
so here's to my baby...Bean.
SO smiley and eager!
willing and hard working

c.u.t.e!

sensitive

and cautious

but willing to try!

LOVER of food!

and her Sissy

always ready to get a laugh
my beautiful baby girl!
Mummy hopes to raise you to be the best you can be! Confident, kind, loving, patient, big dreamer...And love every minute you are given!! Love you, my baby...
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: Avery, family, reflection
Friday, December 3, 2010
but I gotta write this while I have a moment...
so yesterday, before I even rolled out of bed, I was laying there, praying. That I would be the Mum the girls need, that I would portray some of the patience my heavenly Father bestows on me, that I would find the time to let them know how much I love them and just that the Holy Spirit would be present with us throughout the day...
and then we went for a drive...our Saturday ritual done on a Thursday...why not?!
i pulled out the devotional and opened it to this text...the words breathed refreshing truth into my heart, spoke right to my soul and cause tears to fall...
it's SO awesome when stuff like that happens, especially after I'd prayed for the Spirit to be present with us...
so, here's a section of the reading that will hopefully be some refreshing truth to you today:
One winter night evening, I drove up to the house, and there wasn't a single light on. At first I thought there must have been a power outage or something, but our neighbors' homes were lit up.
I walked into an empty house. Lisa and the kids had visited some friends and were stuck in traffic. The silence of my greeting felt overwhelming. The house, dark and empty, looked like a completely different place. I did something I never thought I'd do. I turned most of the lights on to welcome Lisa and the kids home.
That incident became one of those "lightning" moments when God impresses a truth on your heart, when the mundane becomes prophetic and time stops long enough for a profound thought to slip through. I couldn't articulate the thought, but I realized that every blessing comes with a burden.
If God were to take my wife and children home, I'd have a much smaller electric bill - and a hole in the heart the size of Texas.
I soon realized that in just about every complaint lies the foundation of thanksgiving....The fact that you're so busy assumes that you have a job. The fact that there's a load of laundry means someone is alive to get it dirty....
It really comes down to how we choose to look at it. God could remove the burden - but if he did, he'd also take away the blessing....
This week, whenever you feel tempted to complain because your kids are being kids - making messes, not replacing the toilet, leaving lights on, messing up your car - ask God to remind you of the blessing behind the burden. Ask him to help you remember that a clean house, a smaller bill, and a spotless car aren't nearly as fulfilling as a relationship of love. ~Gary Thomas
Posted by Christina B 0 comments
Labels: reflection
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
there's two
in this world
one that controls many lives
and one that life is controlled by
one that people strive to gain
and one that often slips away without so much as a glance
one that causes people to make pretty silly, hasty decisions
and one that, when all gone, people grieve not savouring
money
or time
when you have the money
you don't have the time
and when you have the time,
you, more often than not,
don't have the money
but what would you rather?
when THIS time is done...
it's gone, for good.
never again to be obtained,
no matter how hard one works.
at this moment...
i am living life with a currency
that can never make me wealthy
but what a rich, rich life i lead.
**********
what currency are you living for??
Posted by Christina B 0 comments
Labels: reflection
Sunday, November 28, 2010
there's a lot of limitations too...if you've trained yourself
to box in the word
as it pertains to you...and your life
i know that i have had MANY walls built up
surrounding that word
as it related to almost every aspect of my life
and I can honestly say, now, that most of those walls,
thank the Lord,
have been torn down
but the issue i am having now,
in all honesty,
is embracing this freedom,
being 100% fine with it,
and viewing how it's effect on my life
changes everything
because when you live in your own restricted freedom
for SO long
it's hard to retrain your mind
but i do it,
because i deserve it,
because Jim deserves it,
because my babies deserve it
Where the Spirit of the Lord is...there is freedom! ~2 Corinthians 3:17
so...as I am hit with these truths I am learning to embrace them,
to share them with people
and, hopefully, with you
but my struggle is making the time
and finding the words
the Truth is being spoken to me daily,
His word is breathing new life into me,
His Spirit wants nothing more than for me to KNOW this FREEDOM
but he enemy wants nothing more
than for me to shrink back
into that stilted, self-defined definition of the word
"Freedom as it pertains to you, Christina"
I will write on here more,
it is therapeutic to me,
and hopefully, if nothing more,
keeps you updated to my current "goings-on"
this Truth was brewing in my gut tonight,
and the old me didn't think it was worth mentioning
but I know better
because I now know the truth and
the truth shall set ME free ~John 8:32
freedom...
there's a lot of depth to that word
and my guts are still brewing
with more "stuff" that's on my mind
that'll wait for another day...
hopefully soon
~blessings
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: reflection
Friday, October 15, 2010
sitting here today...trying to think about all the this that need to get done...
but all i can think about is this and #2 on this love list
yup...it's that time of year again, for me. and one would think that if the in-between times are "easier," then THE DAY may get easier??
so far....not that case:(
but, it gives me cause to reflect, remember, and attempt to bring his personality and character across to my girls...
off i go to savour this day...
Posted by Christina B 2 comments
Labels: reflection
Thursday, September 30, 2010
That's my newest boost of encouragement from the incredible Joyce Meyer...in all situations, about all people, during all parts of your day-to-day...
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: reflection
Friday, August 27, 2010
I came across this gem through Proud To Be Country and although I have no idea how to get the video to appear on here so you could just click the 'play' button...i think that if i just do this:
...and ask you to click the link, it should bring you to the right place...?
go ahead, click it...and be refreshed!
I was!
Posted by Christina B 1 comments
Labels: girls, reflection