Friday, July 27, 2012

ponderings of soap suds and frying pans

a long day...hours of summer heat pounding down...soaking it up for these days will pass

kids playing...bickering...helping...bickering...

this season will all too soon come to an end...summer, childhood...

a long day...sister helps all night long...in hopes to raise funds for fun...in hopes, mine, to teach the importance of money, the blessing of provision...maybe she's being taught, but i am learning

learning to be thankful for provision

learning to gather the small things and enjoy

learning to take the moments, the ones that too often pass by unnoticed...and not rush...but to savour

a long day...setting out crafts, creations of my hands..in the summer heat

hours pass...kids playing...bickering...helping...bickering...

the sun sets...the creations of my hands are placed back in their safe places...to sit ready for next week

all is packed away...craft and crafted...all to their sweet slumber...

and there it sits...after a long hot day...cast iron with caked on crust of noon...waiting...

on goes the tap...hot...to lift the hold...

a lot like life...when pressure comes...when the heat of life is turned up...what do we do?...hold fast...to that which has claimed our peace and joy for the fear of the unknown...or let go and look to He Whose plans for us are perfect...?

the water heats up...the noon-time provisions lift...the iron cleaned in hope for tomorrow's blessing

all is quiet after a long day...he sits down and looks at me...the heat and day's laboured duties weighing in his eyes...but all is still...the evening has come...and so hope...for mercies renewed with tomorrow's rising of the sun...the Son's new mercies...

when did it stop being "enough"?

daily duties of buttering toast...wiping faces...moments in quiet, praying for their future selves...wringing out drops of patience...sweeping up crumbs of grace...

why the unsettled feeling of inadequacy...? who said that witnessing and steering the unbridled hope of the child budding, growing up under our rearing, roof, wings' shadow needs to be supplemented...or enhanced by something "other than"...something "outside"...something "more"

what is "more" than the weight, blessing, responsibility of raising tomorrow's women and men...

 these questions roll around...swirling...whispering...waiting...

when did THIS stop being enough...soap suds...morning crumbs and evening spills...cupping an innocent face and pouring out grace...

i fight to keep it...i fight to find its whole significance...its entire weight...the reality of raising up to send out...

and i falter...the still, small voice often gets beaten down by the outside shouts... "only"..."just"..."nothing but"...

and then, in a fleeting moment...almost missed by the pace of the day...i realize...and stop...and remember the treasure of a childhood...parent always present...

this IS enough...this is MORE than enough...not "just"...not "only"...

but wholly...and matchless...and unparalleled...and holy...and hard...but worth it...

so i sit...and wonder...and realize...no matter the chaos that surrounds...no matter the peers who find this to be not enough...no matter those who try and push the idea that something "other than" holds more meaning or would make me more than "just"...for me, this IS enough... unparallelled...complete...

and daily...life happens...and i need reminding...but slowly...it's seeping, down deep

"If you have died with Christ to material ways of looking at things...why do you live as if you still belong to the world?...Such practices have indeed the outward appearance that popularly passes for wisdom...but they are of no value" ~ Col. 2:20,23

do i want the simple appearance of wisdom...but for my life to lack value?

stand up...and take a few steps...to shift the focus from filling up a daily life...to daily living life FULL.

4 comments:

Bia said...

Oh, Christina...
I could FEEL your heart in this post.
So beautiful, so transparent.
Yes...let's lean into His truth.
His wisdom seems foolish to this world, and yet it's so full, and rich, and eternal.
Thank you, from one in the trenches, to another...

Notsocrabbyabby said...

This is beautiful, what a wonderful reminder to hold fast to what we believe even when we are unsure or feel unjustified. Inspirational post to live every day and savor the moments...ah I love it! Thanks for the reminder.

Unknown said...

Oh Christina, what a beautiful poem. It is all the things and events and education in your life that has prepared you for this time and place. for right here and right now. Well done, my friend, well done.
love you!!

Unknown said...

that was me, by the way, Karleigh